Hustle Culture, Resentment, and The Pressure To Succeed with Jenelle Tremblett

#128: In today's society, we are often told that success only comes to those who work the hardest, hustling and grinding every day to achieve their goals. But at what cost? In this episode, Jenelle shares her experience of hustle culture, the feelings of resentment it can create, and the intense pressure to succeed that many of us feel.

Jenelle's Ebbs

• Hustle culture 
• Burn out
• Resentment leading to negative relationships
• Intense internal pressure and expectations
• Not being able to slow down

Jenelle's Glows

• Crushing reading goals through audiobooks
• Learning Spanish
• Starting therapy
• Upcoming travel
• Being excited for 30th birthday

Let's Connect!

Looking for a Toronto Realtor?: Book An Intro Call

Jenelle Tremblett: Website | Instagram | TikTok

Podcast: Website | Instagram | YouTube | TikTok 

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the ebb and glow podcast. I'm your host, Janelle Tremlett. And I'm a firm believer that even when life doesn't go as planned, it is taking you exactly where you're meant to be on this podcast. I'm here to help you finally release control of what you think you want and begin to just trust in the ebbs and flows of life. Each week, I will show you how to build that positive mindset radiate with self confidence and cultivate an unshakeable resilience. Let me prove to you that even when life ebb. You will glow. Hello everyone and welcome to episode 1 28 of the Ebb and Glow podcast. Today's episode is a solo one with me and it's going to be a little bit of a life update, kind of where my head's at lately, what's triggering me, cuz Lord knows so much is triggering me lately. And uh, just my overall thought. Over the past month or so. So I was thinking about what to talk about on this episode and it's funny, over the course of a month, there's so much that comes up and sometimes I process it before I get a chance to record in an episode. Sometimes it's honestly probably. Too much of vulnerable crap happening that I'm like I'm not ready to talk about that on a solo episode just yet, or I'm still processing it, or it's still so fresh. But I thought about it today as I was about to hit record, and I still didn't really know what I should talk about. But I came across this new episode of the almost 30 podcast, and they had it titled, If I slow down, will I fall behind? And I was like, wow. If there was any phrase or sentence that could describe how I was feeling this past month, that is exactly how to sum it up. And so that episode, as I was listening to it, really inspired me to record this solo episode and really explore all the things that I have been experiencing. So the first one that I wanna talk about is being sucked into the hustle culture. I've talked about this on many episodes before. I chat to this with my friends, family, et cetera, and I am no stranger to the hustle culture and being constantly burnt out. But the double-edged sword of that problem is when you're a really ambitious person and you don't really have a fallback plan or any plan Bs, your only option is to succeed. So if you don't have anyone to depend on and no other options, you can find yourself getting really sucked into the constantly working and constant hustle culture. as I have been often sucked into, and especially over the last couple months I've been really sucked into to an unhealthy degree. It's almost as if I'm afraid to stop working and afraid to slow down because. It's like I let my brain spiral about what happens if I slow down. What happens if I put a pause on things? What happens if I take a break? In my mind, those answers are pretty scary. they feel detrimental and I know to someone who has a lot more balance in their life or maybe isn't as career focused as maybe someone else. This may not resonate, but maybe there's other parts of your life that you're obsessed with, so you understand that obsession and not being able to slow down. So think of it as just an overall theme of not being able to stop. I feel like some days I, I do have a lot of great boundaries and I do have some balance within my workday and work week, but I find it really hard to turn off sometimes, and there's always so much more that you can be doing and it's really easy to find yourself watching. Other people within your industry are watching your peers and saying, okay, well, they are further ahead than I. So I need to work a little harder. I need to push myself more. I need to put more hours in. And I myself have been feeling exactly that lately. I find that, and people in general, we overestimate what we can get done in one day, but we definitely underestimate what we can do in one year, two years, five years, 10 years. And as I talk myself through this solo episode, I need to give myself some grace and some time to say, look at how far you've come in one year. Look at how far you've come in 90 days, and really allow myself to feel a level of pride enough to gimme the motivation to continue working and continue working hard and setting goals, but also give myself the grace of saying it doesn't need to all get done. As an ambitious person, as I've often described myself as, and a lot of people would describe me as, I'm always thinking I'm new ideas of what I wanna do, and sometimes I can get caught up in not finalizing the execution of one idea and one project before. I'm already in interested and intrigued by another. so that's where I'm really getting caught up with lately, especially within my job. And ultimately I'm just burnt out and I feel like my cortisol levels are on high stress at all times, and I need to find a way to balance it. and understand that I cannot do it all, and if I don't have that extra help right now, I need to let some stuff go and be okay with not being able to do it all. Further to that, I don't know if it's just living in Toronto or maybe just the constant news cycle of where the economy is going, but I find because there's so much uncertainty in terms of the economy in business, The constant looming conversation around the recession. I think that also adds fuel to the fire in wanting to constantly work because I can speak for myself, that I'm almost afraid of again, what happens if we have a recession, if someone loses their job, if, if, if, if, and that constantly fuels the ongoing stress that's already there on a day-to-day. And there's a lot of changes and rumblings around the real estate world, especially in Toronto. So that constantly has my brain going and worried about where this field is going, where is my career going, am I getting paid next month? Am I getting paid six months from now? It's a constant level of stress to be honest, and, and I don't know if you feel this way, but. I'm still figuring out what to do to manage that stress. Currently, one of the things that I'm trying to do a lot of is really walking a lot for me. Walking has always been the perfect cure to any bit of stress. I find anytime I'm walking or walking home or walking somewhere, it calms my nervous system down so much that I'm able to be a little bit more in the flow of. One thing that I've thought of recently is I'm intrigued by the idea of microdosing, so I'm going to look into that a little bit and see if it's the right thing for me, but I think it'll allow myself to calm down the constant stress and overworked. Energy that I feel inside myself. I don't know if that's coming across to other people, but it, I definitely feel it within myself and I definitely want to try some modalities that will give me that little bit of chillness to add to my demeanor. So that's where my head is at on that one. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I brought this up in a solo episode yet, but I did start therapy at the end of January, so I've been doing therapy for. Couple months now. I think I've done maybe four sessions. Yeah, four sessions. Sounds right. And one of the biggest themes that is coming up that I feel like my therapist feels like she hit a goldmine when I had a bit of self-awareness around this one and brought it up as a potential area to discuss in that topic and area is I've noticed throughout my life that. I have a lot of resentment towards a lot of people because I feel like throughout my life I've done a lot of things on my own and I feel like I haven't had a lot of people to depend on, and whether that is just from a location base, they're not close enough to me to help me, whether that's within relationships where. Even within the relationship, I still felt single and alone, and I couldn't depend on that individual person or even within my business or any type of job I've ever done. I've always felt that I've had to figure it out on my own, and there's definitely a sense of pride that comes with that, especially when you gain success. At the end, you're able to say, you know what? I did that on my own, and there's a lot of joy and pride that comes with that, but what I'm recognizing myself lately is. The constant feeling of doing everything on your own without any bit of help is creating such a big level of exhaustion in myself that is leading to some deep, deep resentment. And I'm finding myself judging other people that Have that help and seem to have it easier and seem to have what I call a bit more of a softer life because they are surrounded by people who can make their life a little bit easier. And I want to caveat this with, this is all still coming up. I haven't processed a lot of this. This is really a new self-awareness thing that I'm noticing and something I plan to actively discuss within therapy to see where do this all start? How do I, How do I prevent having resentment towards other people? How do I maybe ask for help? Groundbreaking idea, but maybe that's just the, the, the option. So definitely a new theme that's coming up for me, and uh, I'm excited to kind of explore it. Also, one thing I will say, I saw this idea on, on TikTok where this girl made an entire slide deck for her therapist and basically like outlined who she is. What her self-diagnosis is, the main things the therapist needs to know about her, the main characters in her life. And so I started creating one myself, and it's been amazing. I am getting all of my thoughts organized and self-diagnosing myself, and I feel like it's gonna save me like three months in therapy. I mean time efficiency, like I'm all about. But I'm super excited because I feel like my therapist is, again, gonna think I'm insane, but we'll probably be thankful to save herself time instead of trying to dig and put the pieces together for me when I have the pieces mostly put together in my mind already. So, yeah, so I'm gonna send that to her next week. A couple weeks ago, I went through a constant state of the universe triggering me in every possible way. And I don't know if you've ever felt this way before, but it's like the universe knows. what buttons to push and what's really gonna put you over the edge. And there was a week the other week that every one of my buttons got pushed. Who, it was an interesting week to stay the least. I was triggered by everything. It could rain and I was gonna be triggered. Like I, ah, it was just a, a whirlwind. of me reacting to things. And I am not proud of that at all. everyone has their different buttons. Everyone has their triggers. Everyone has what drives them crazy about other people and scenarios. And yeah, the universe showed me every single one of them during one week this month. So my, my biggest triggers are one, some people two. Slow people and just people who I'm like, why are you in this job? Like, you could make this so much easier than it needs to be. Other triggers are, yeah, when people make things way over complicated in business than they need to. So for example, within my job, if someone makes the paperwork more complicated than it needs to be, or like sends something to me, ask me for one signature, then sends it back again and asks for another thing, I'm like, why didn't you just wait and send this all at the same time instead of sending it multiple times? Little things like that. as I say, my triggers, they're gonna sound so stupid to most people, but there's a reason why they're triggers. Other triggers that really get to me is when I feel controlled, especially within business. Um, If I don't feel like I can just like freely do my job without kind of someone putting a glass ceiling over me, definitely felt triggered by that uh, in the past couple weeks. And other triggers, like I feel like there's a lot of low quality guys kind of sliding in my dms a lot lately and people that I put in the graveyard and now are kind of creeping back out. I'm like, no, Like, you know when you absolutely raise your standards and some people that you would've entertained just for your, again, entertainment before and now you're thinking, oh my God, you are driving me crazy. Don't message. Anyways, a ton of those types of guys came back recently too. And yeah, I had no interest. I literally didn't even wanna entertain it. So yeah, I had a full week of all of those types of triggers. The dumb people, the, the making things more complicated than it needs to be. The feeling controlled and not having any say in anything I do. And yeah, just kind of low quality people coming within my aura. All of those. Basically all happened within the same week, and I definitely reacted in a lot of ways, and I think maybe that's what caused a lot of my exhaustion and burnout this month. Is all of that energy being used in a reactionary way and not being used productively or just kind of sitting back and saying, okay, why is this triggering me? What is this bringing up for me? How can I process this without having a reaction? The other one that I'm getting a lot better at, but it still bugs me a bit, Is comments on social media? It seems like no matter what I put out, there's always someone that's gonna comment or have something to say, and it's gotten better ever since I've been posting uh, on social media. with how personally I take things. Definitely when I first started posting for my job, I would read the comments and I would definitely feel attacked by them. Nowadays, I'm like, I just either laugh or block or delete and realize it has nothing to do with me. But I definitely have an appreciation for anyone that puts themselves out online because it is hard. It's you're taking on a lot of people's energies and opinions everyone has an opinion and something to say, and it's really hard not to take that energy on and uh, let it affect your day. the past week though, there's definitely some comments that have kind of gotten to me and it makes you think, do I have the strength and the backbone to be able to continue down this path of putting myself out online? Or is it too much for. These are definitely some thoughts that I've had lately. And, uh, they're not good thoughts because if you stop putting yourself out there, I mean, you're never going to succeed or never going to achieve probably what you want to achieve. So it's learning how to block it out, realizing it doesn't mean anything about you. And, uh, overall, yeah, just taking it day by. I've never been the type of person that's been a people pleaser, but creating content online, it has me definitely leaning towards some people pleasing tendencies and wanting to create content that people are going to approve of, are going to make happy. But I need to remind myself at all times that no matter what you do in life, someone is going to have something negative to say about it, and you need to decide how much of that are you actually willing to take into your sphere of influence and, and take that opinion on? The thing that always gets me by is think. Don't ever take opinions or advice from anyone that is not living the life that you want to live. And so as I see those rude comments come in or just aggressive comments, I think the person behind this phone or computer right now commenting this, do they have the life that I want? No. Well, why care about anything they have to say? So that's kind of what's getting me through it. all in all, with all of those triggers that have happened from the universe lately, I've learned to realize lately that it may be a bad day and that you may be so validated in all of the emotions and triggers and reactions you had that day. But you need to remind yourself. It's a bad day, not a bad life. So just because you had one bad day or reacted in a way that you're not proud of, just take learnings from that and realize that you don't have to bring that into the next day. Just focus on what you can do today, how you can get better today, not wasting so much energy on what's been said and done. With some of the stuff that's happening in my career, I'm allowing myself to see that the universe is showing me areas of my life that I've really outgrown. And I'm trying to see these triggers and these changes as an opportunity to up-level or maybe change directions or paths. And uh, Instead of being so hurt by maybe some of the changes that are happening within my life. I want to conclude this episode with some of the things I've been loving lately. I'd like to add a little bit of a positive uh, ending to this episode because obviously it's, this whole episode is about all the things that I've been struggling with and learning and reacting to. So I wanna finish it off by telling you all of the fun things and stuff I'm loving. One of the biggest things I'm spending a lot of time doing lately is listening to audiobooks and specifically audiobooks that are autobiographies or memoirs of say, celebrities. I listen to EM Rat's book. I listen to Viola Davis' uh, Garel From The Real Housewives, and I am loving all of these. I've always had a goal with how many books I wanna read per year. And the last couple years I have not been hitting those goals because by the time I would actually get in bed and wanna read, Within three pages, I was falling asleep. And so I recognized like, oh yeah, I listened to a lot of podcasts throughout my day, so why not just switch them to audiobooks and again, the habit stack and be able to achieve two things at once. I wanna listen to something, but I also want to achieve a book reading goal for the year. So I've been crushing through books this year, and what I've been using is an app called Libby and this. Allows you to borrow audiobooks from the public library. I'm sure it's all over Canada. But yeah, so I've been crushing through books and just loving all of the autobiographies I've been listening to lately. And the one other thing that I've been spending a lot of my time doing lately is I actually started Spanish lessons this month. I'm super excited by this and I find myself already learning a lot within the past month, and my goal at the end of the year is when I go on a trip to Central or South America, this upcoming December and January, I wanna be able to have full conversations when I'm traveling, and if I'm able to do that, I will feel like I achieve that goal. So, yeah, that's another thing that I've been spending a lot of time doing that I'm really excited about. Some fun things that are upcoming. I'm headed to Miami this upcoming weekend on a trip with a bunch of girls for a friend's bachelorette party, and then I'm heading on a solo trip at the end of the month to Portugal. So if you're listening to this and you have any recommendations for Portugal, please let me know. I'm super, super excited. And then one other thing, this month is actually going to be my 30th birthday. My birthday is on April 24th, and I'm pumped, I will be in Portugal for my birthday. I planned that a long time ago, so I'm excited for that. And, uh, but yeah, I'm, I'm super excited to go into my thirties. The next two solo episodes will be around lessons I learned within my twenties, and I believe the other episode will be a recap on my Portugal trip. So stay tuned for those. All that being said, I hope something in this episode has resonated with you and maybe made you feel a little less alone and maybe more seen than you initially felt prior to this episode. Never forget that. Whatever you're going through today, I can guarantee you someone or many people are going through it in this moment or have been through it. never feel alone with how you are feeling today and any day. Just know that no matter what you are going through or struggling with today, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I too have to remind myself of that all the time, but trust me, when you look back upon all of the struggles that you go through, hindsight's 2020, but you will come out better than. So here's to hoping that whatever you're going through today, you will take lots of great lessons and come out as a better person, stronger, more resilient, more confident, all the good stuff, you know? thank you so much for listening. If you love today's episode, make sure to share it with a friend who will also gain value from it. alright, have a great day and we'll see you here back next week. Okay. Bye. Did you know that I'm not only a podcast host, but in my full-time career, I met Toronto based real estate agent. If you are someone, you know, is a busy professional looking to get into the Toronto real estate market, I highly recommend reaching out to me. You can go directly to my website@wwwdotjenelletremblant.com. And you can click the let's talk button to book a call with me. I work with buyers, renters, and sellers in the downtown and east end areas. So don't hesitate to reach out to me and I would love to help you find your next home. And in the meantime, we'll see you here back next week.