The Power of Tenacity: From Troubled Youth to Self-Made Entrepreneur and Philanthropist with Mike Murphy

#130: Mike's journey began as a broke, desperate, divorced, alcoholic young man who knew he needed to make a change. Through his own experiences, Mike discovered the power of manifestation and the Law of Attraction. He used these tools to transform his life, and now he's passionate about helping others do the same. 

In 2012, he founded the Love from Margot Foundation in honor of his late wife, Margot Murphy, who battled cancer. And today, he is building a retreat center in Medellin, Colombia called Mountains of Hope.

Mike's Ebbs

• Being a troubled youth
• Divorce
• Struggling with alcohol 
• Affairs
• Losing his wife to breast cancer

Mike's Glows

• Learning about law of attraction and manifestation
• Turning his life around
• Becoming successful and wealthy
• Building the Love from Margot Foundation
• Building a retreat center in Columbia
  
  

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Jenelle Tremblett: Website | Instagram | TikTok

Podcast: Website | YouTube | Instagram | TikTok

Mike Murphy: Website | Instagram

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the ebb and glow podcast. I'm your host, Janelle Tremlett. And I'm a firm believer that even when life doesn't go as planned, it is taking you exactly where you're meant to be on this podcast. I'm here to help you finally release control of what you think you want and begin to just trust in the ebbs and flows of life. Each week, I will show you how to build that positive mindset radiate with self confidence and cultivate an unshakeable resilience. Let me prove to you that even when life ebb. You will glow. Hello everyone. And welcome to episode one 30 of the ebb and glow. Podcast. Today's guest is with Mike Murphy. And I know you're going to feel like this is such a powerful episode. I say at the end of the episode, wow. I feel like I just went to church. I feel like I was just standing in front of a preacher for a full hour. And I think you'll end up feeling that way as well. My guest, Mike is a very powerful person. He has so much knowledge and wisdom and it's not because he was given everything easy in his life. Quite the opposite, actually. You'll hear in today's story. Mike started with very, very troubled beginnings. And had a lot of stress and trouble all throughout his life. But that just goes to show that you can still have so much success. And wealth and be able to give back to so many people within your lifetime, but still have a lot of that stress and hardship come through as well. So my guest, Mike Murphy is a man on a mission he's dedicated his life to helping people achieve their dreams and manifest their deepest desires, drawing from his own experience. As an entrepreneur, Mike knows what it takes to achieve success. In addition to writing bestselling books, such as the creation, frequency, love unfiltered and living in color. Mike has created two courses, the creation, frequency, And the power of intention will change your life. Mike is the founder of the love for Margot foundation, which we'll talk a lot about in today's episode, which he started in 2012 in honor, of his late wife, Margo Murphy, who battled cancer. currently Mike is building a retreat center in Columbia called mountains of hope. This center will be dedicated to retreats that will help people from all over the world, unleash their inner power heal and create lives. They love. And this entire episode is going to paint the story of what really inspired the reasoning behind why my create it, this retreat center in Columbia. When we talk about Mike's life throughout this episode, he talks about being a broken and desperate teenager. He went through divorce. He had an alcoholic dad. He was getting into a lot of trouble himself. Like he says, it was a very difficult time. And when I asked kind of how did you start transforming your life? What made you want to make the change? And he talks a lot about, um, using a lot of manifestation techniques is really what we talk about. He says he was a restless youth facing multiple arrests. However, his tenacity is what led him down the path of becoming an acclaimed self-made entrepreneur wall street journal, bestselling author, Speaker and philanthropist passionate about helping others. And he really focuses all of his attention today. On the law of attraction technology, physical detoxification, and meditation. in order to help everyone else become their best selves. as you listen to today's episode, think about who else in your life could gain a lot of value from what we're talking about within this conversation and whoever that is, make sure to share it with them because that's what we're on a mission to do with this podcast. There's so many people throughout the world. Dealing with a lot of hardship in their life. And a lot of people are feeling utterly alone as if no one else has been through the same things they've been through. All of my guests on this podcast are here to show you that no matter what you have gone through the hardships in your life, the things that have set you back. You can still have everything you've dreamed about within this lifetime. So with that being said let's jump into this episode and wherever you are today have a fabulous day okay enjoy Mike, thanks so much for being here. Thank you, Janelle. Great to be here. The first question I always love to ask everyone that comes on this podcast is what's happening lately? What are you struggling with? Huh? I try, I try not, you're hitting me at a good day for that day, but I try not to use the word struggling. Right. Okay. So, because that's, that's a difficult word, right? So I have a few challenges that I'm dealing with, and I'm constantly reminding myself to enjoy the journey. Mm. That this is a mission. It's not work. Don't get frustrated. Don't let it bother you. Just go with the flow. I completely agree. I have a friend right now her and her boyfriend are launching a company and they're creating a non-alcoholic company basically. And so they delivered me products the other day and she was like, oh, I'm so sorry that we don't have our, like, logo stickers on, so we just had to use these stickers. And I said to her, I'm like, No, this is what you wanna take photos of, like, and I literally gave the package back to her. I was like, hold this so I can take a photo of you right now. Because when you have the perfect stickers and the perfect packaging, you're gonna forget these moments. You're gonna forget where you start it, and I'm sure that's what you're kind of trying to remind yourself of right now. And that on top of that, I'm in a different country from America. Yeah, you're in Canada. But I'm in Amer. I live in America, so I'm used to American business. Yes. I'm in Columbia and I'm not that good in Spanish, so I'm, I have both hands tied in, tied behind my back trying to build this amazing retreat center. So it's, it's a journey. I've was in Costa Rica recently, and I, you get so accustomed to how Canada and the US operates and we operate very quickly. We wanna get things done. We we're a, we're a hustle culture and Latin American culture is not No way. So, you know, early on, I've been here since 2015 back and forth, but early on, after I'd gone to my fourth notary in two hours to to buy an apartment, I go, oh my God. Okay, this is their country. This is how they do things. Even though we quit doing them this way 40 years ago, I'm gonna learn patience. And, and I don't expect them to say press two for English. Okay, so this is their country. It's their way of doing things and I'm just gonna go with the flow. Is it hard for you to go with the flow or 20 years ago would've been? Well, I think, I think because American business is so different, Oh, it's so different from a d d different and, and, and, you know, if I wasn't down here building something and spending a lot of money and pouring an enormous amount of time and energy into this project, then it would be cool. I mean, I love this country. Yeah, I love this city. I'm living here, but doing business here is completely different. It's, it's, it's a challenge. I wanna start right from the beginning. You had a very interesting childhood growing up. Didn't you say you were a juvenile delinquent at one point and getting I was uh, arrested. Like, tell me about this time. Well, so I, my father was an alcoholic. Yeah. And at that time he was um, he was an executive alcoholic. He eventually became a skid row type alcoholic. Mm-hmm. But, you know, early on, you know, and, and God bless him, I mean, both of his parents were alcoholics. So he, he didn't have a prayer or a chance, in my opinion. I was fortunate. My mother was like a saint. When he wasn't around, but when he was around, it was a difficult childhood. A lot of, just, just a lot of challenges. Right. And so he did the best he could with the tools he had, but it really, my, my father, he just passed a little over a year ago, but wow. You know, he, he never grew up with love. So he couldn't access his heart, you know, with, with, with the alcohol. He could occasionally, he would hit the right zone with enough alcohol and he, he would be a kind loving father. But for the, for the most of the time, it wasn't that way. He wasn't there most of the time. And when he was, it was a lot of. You know, tension and humiliation and shame and some violence and stuff like that, right? So I was the oldest of five, so I'll never forget this. I'm 14 years old, freshman in high school, skinny little guy with braces on my teeth, and I just said to myself, I at this people's house at trampoline, or everybody's having fun. Everybody seemed normal, but I felt very, like I just had to go. I just told myself, dude, whatever's going on. You need to get outta here. And so the next day I hopped on a bus in downtown Cincinnati at 14 years old and got off a hundred miles south in Lexington, Kentucky. So I became habitual runaway, habitual, juvenile delinquent. Mm-hmm. And a real j I really didn't start growing up until I was about 28, I think. I, I mean, I don't think, for no offense, but for a male, I think that's the average Asian, well, I mean, you know, I have two sons, so I, I get what you're saying, but I can say that cause I'm 29 and I don't think they're grown up yet. Well then you need, you need to date or marry an older guy. So that's all I can, the problem is I don't like the molder, so I'm lose loose. Time will take care of that. It'll all work out. No, a hundred percent. I've talked to a lot of people on this podcast that have grown up around alcoholics and have had really terrible upbringings, and it's interesting to me that, I mean, everyone I'm speaking to on this podcast, Ends up being a very successful person. So, and I've heard many stories of, I mean, you, you have siblings, so I've heard many stories of siblings growing up with the exact same parents and leading very different lives. So I know that you are all about transformation. So at what point of your life did you finally decide, okay, I'm not repeating this, I'm not gonna be the same person that my dad. Yeah, I got super lucky Jane Janelle. It was 1982 and I was in a 12 step program and I was 24 years old, I think, or something like that. Wow. And. My life was a mess. I, I didn't have a job. I didn't have any money. I had an eighth grade education. I had no future, no hope. And a buddy of mine, his 12 step program says, Hey, dude, your, your life is a real mess, but I know someone might be able to help you. And I, I was so desperate for any kind of hope. I said, okay. So I went and met this guy and he said, Mike, you come here one hour a week for seven weeks and you'll get everything you want in your life. And it's$50 an hour. And I didn't have to, he was like a scam. One hour. That's it. Yeah. And so I said, listen, okay, I'll be back next week. Let's get going. And I, you know, I scraped the ground. I probably wrote her a hot check for the first one, but eventually I paid him in full. But um, he taught me that how our thoughts become things and that we attached the right emotion to these powerful intentions that he taught me to create. Miracles happen. And that's what happened in my life. did you believe that at that? Nope. And the guy didn't have that nice a house. He wasn't dressed that nice. His furniture wasn't that nice, but I was that desperate. Okay. And when you're desperate, you have nothing to lose. I mean, literally, I had a hundred dollars car. No, I, I literally had a checkbook with no money in it. I gave him a hot check and I, I just, I was a leap of faith and man, it was the best decision of my life. Talk to me about that 12 step program. So this was, so that wasn't a 12 step program. This guy was a product of the 12 step program. Oh, okay. But he was, he was studying a thing called Silver Mind Control, which I had no idea at the time. Yeah, I only learned recently actually. And it's kind of like N L P? No. Well, it kind of, yeah, it's, it's, you know, they're very similar. N N L P has a lot of great attributes, but it can be, you know, like anything, it can be used the wrong way. Like my process to manifestation, I can manifest a great life, or I can manifest a life of crime, right? So, yeah. So yeah, anything could be good, good or evil. So he basically said, Mike, listen, there's no difference between imagination and reality. And he goes, You need to create a balanced life. So he took a pen and a piece of paper. He wrote a circle, and he divided my life into six areas. You know, your job, your relationships personal development, fun goals, you know, contribution, all these kind of things. He says, what do you want most? Well, two years prior I'd walked out because I'm a runaway and, and, and I, and I, I was so humiliated. I'm, I'm, The two month old baby daughter living with my wife's parents and her five younger siblings, and I was humiliated at 24. Yeah, at 24. I mean, a disaster of a life. Yeah. And a person and I and I, and, and Sunday, they always had a big Sunday family dinner and they're getting ready for that. And I went in the bathroom and looked at'em and I go, dude, you, you are a. Which really, frankly didn't bother me that much. Huh? What bothered me, what everybody in that house knew I was a loser. Mm-hmm. And that's where the humiliation, the shame. And so I didn't even own a car at the time and they were letting me borrow one. So I literally, five o'clock Sunday Avenue, took all my stuff clothes, threw it in their car, and took off and took the car. And took the car and I partied like a rockstar for a week. I wrote a bunch of hot checks and had a great time and then I called her up and said, okay, I'm ready to come home now. She said, no, I don't think so. So I literally ended up on the steps of the Catholic church that we got married in two years prior and I said, okay, God. If you're real, and I don't think you are, but if you are, you literally have the power to manifest into a physical being. Sit on these steps of this church with me and then I can talk to you and I can touch you, and then I can believe in you, and then I can change my life. So God came down. No, by the grace of God though, the next day I ended up in this 12 step program and, and that's what led to meet the mystery man. So I said, listen, what I want is my wife and my daughter back. We've been divorced for two years and she hates my guts. She wants nothing to do with me. You know, I pay$187 a month child support and I see my kid, you know, one night a week. Yeah. And it's, it's, it's. Crazy. And, and I don't want some guy, someone else raising my daughter. And I just, and I, I couldn't stay off drugs. I couldn't stay sober. I couldn't stay nothing. Right. He said, okay, let's write an intention as if that already exists. Mm-hmm. Because there's no difference between imagination reality. So here's, this woman hast my gut and I'm sitting at this man's kitchen table. Lisa and I are so happily married. Our daughter, Michelle, thrives in this marriage about a paragraph or two of like, how wonderful this marriage. Now while I'm writing it, you know, I'm in enormous emotional pain. I know she hates my gods. I know this is all bullshit, but I write it anyways and as I'm writing it, all of a sudden I get a little hope. All of a sudden it starts to feel, oh, it starts to feel like, okay, maybe there's something to this next week. You, you start envisioning it of what that would look like. And feeling it too. Mm-hmm. So I'll get to that in a second. So the next week, what do you want? I want to own my own business next week. What do you want? I want, wanna own my own house next week I wanna make 10,000 a month. Next week, I wanna run a marathon. Next week he goes, next week. It's gotta be a contribution goal because you need to give back. You just can't take, you're gonna need to give. Mm-hmm. I go, okay. Well my dad was a troubled youth. I was a troubled youth. I want to create a home for troubled youth. So those were my six intentions. Week seven is where the magic happens. He comes, he says, okay. Good job in writing this intentions. You've worked hard. You've done a good job. this is 1982. This is mm-hmm. You probably don't even realize what I'm gonna say right now, but he brings out a, I wasn't even alive, Mike. There you go. Called boom box. Okay, now I know what those are. Okay. So we used to listen to music on their boom bonds. Right? And he has a cassette tape it, it has theta brain. Frequency music on it. He puts it in the boombox. He goes, I'm gonna play this music. Then he hands me a relaxation script and he hands me a microphone attached to a tape recorder. He says, while the music's playing, I want you to read this relaxation script into this microphone, and I want you to read your six intentions. Okay? Fair enough. Done. So there we are, seven weeks later. He hands me a cassette tape with a relaxation script embedded with data Brain way music of my six intentions, and I leave with that cassette tape and I'm$350 poor. And he says, Mike, here's the most important thing every morning right when you wake up. Because you're coming outta Delta and the theta and the alpha. I want you to listen right away. Cuz what will happen is that sound, that vibration, that energy, that frequency, those intentions will pierce the conscious mind and get into the subconscious mind, which is where all the power is. Okay? And every night before you go fall asleep, I want you to listen again. And I'll be honest, I didn't listen every day. I didn't listen religious. Sometimes it was too painful to listen. But I will tell you this, within four or five months with no money, 40 grand in. No credit, but bad credit, sleeping on someone's couch. I own my own restaurant after four months, because what happens is, this is all I know now, so I didn't know any of this. Okay? I'm just a dumb kid with no hope saying desperate, right? What I know now is one. Your subconscious mind right now, my subconscious mind has taken over in 1 million bits of information. Okay? Yeah. Then it picks 40 bits of information and delivers'em to the conscious mind, cuz that's all the conscious mind can handle. Mm-hmm. So what 40 bits of information does this super computer code? The subconscious mind. Delivered to the conscious mind, whatever it thinks we want and desire. So if I walk around all day, my life sucks. Nothing ever goes right. I can't find the right relationship. This guy's a jerk. Why is blah, blah, blah? That super computer is gonna look for 40 bits of information to reinforce what it thinks. I want because of what I say and how I feel and what I think and all this stuff in those, right? So once I program and say, no, I want this, I'm specific. I want my wife back, I want my own business. I wanna own a house. Boom. Now it's looking for stuff to deliver. So what happened with the owning my own business all of a sudden? I get a thought, a download. Right. Where did that come from? Where do thoughts come from? Well, I believe they come from the field of infinite possibilities. And because I'm telling it every day what I want. The thought comes, put an ad in a newspaper and raise the money. I'd already found the restaurant I wanted to buy, so I put an ad. I mean, I'm a 24 year old kid with nothing going for him. Yeah. And I put it out his paper. I raise this money, I opened this restaurant. So prime example of how it works, two years later, after. My ex-wife calls me up, says, Hey, I need a date for a Christmas party. Will you take me? Sure. We get remarried six months after that, we have three more beautiful children. So, you know, and then one day someone says, Hey man, I need to sell my house. You wanna buy it? No money down, blah, blah, blah. So I mean, what? See, when we tell the universe what we want and when we tell our subconscious mind what we want, and we tell our creator what we want, then all of a sudden guess. We're no longer a victim, we're a powerful creator. Right? And that's what I think we need to become today, especially the way the world is kind of unraveling around us. And everybody wants to play the victim. Well, guess what? Either we're all victims or none of us are victims, so pick your point, right? But I prefer to look at myself as a creator, and I'm here to create something. So that's the biggest struggle. Most people, how, how do I find out what I'm here for and what am I supposed to create, right? So there's a lot of. Tricks to that, that a lot of people ended up getting trapped. And I, I've been trapped in my life, so I'm sure we all get trapped, but it's learning to realize I have the power to get untrapped. I have the power to create. I am a powerful creator. And more importantly, I'm co-creating with the creator of all this, which I call God. You may call anything you want, but there, there was a creator. I mean, someone created this, right? And so I prefer to light myself with that power, right? And then, The universe tell the cells of my body, tell what I want, and it's magical. It works. We're all doing it by the way the It's happening subconsciously. Exactly. Yeah. And I would challenge you to come up with one thing in your physical reality. Anything that didn't start as a thought first and a desire. Everything in our physical reality starts as a thought and a desire. So why don't we get organized and, and come up with what we really want? Instead of what our parents told us, we should have. Teachers told us we should have TV tells us what we should have. No, I wanna live my life my way based on my heart and my desires. And that's the other thing I'll add. It's very important to move from here because this is the insane asylum in my opinion. It's a super, don't we know it? When I live here, it's insane. When I live in my heart with who I am, my essence, my who I really am, my soul, my essence, my consciousness. Then I use a supercomputer to create the life of my dreams. But when I get outta my heart and I'm living in here, see, this can lie to you. This can manipulate and this can steal, this can kill. This can do a million things. This can, my heart cannot lie to you. My heart. To hurt you, but this can't, so it's very important to realize that we need to take this 18 inch journey from here to here, live from here, and then use this. What do you think about specific, like when you're manifesting and telling the universe what you want, do you believe that you should be super specific, or do you think the universe may have a different plan for me and, and I, maybe I should be open. Here's what my experience tells me. Yeah. Super specific and super flexible. Okay. Oh, okay. So right now that's, that's what I align with, okay? So I'm building this amazing retreat center here with a great mission, a great purpose, a great everything right? And so I've been doing it for a couple years now. It has changed so many times. Just yesterday, I changed the whole second week of it, right? Because I'm co-creating it with God. So I'm very, very specific, but I'm also very, very flexible with new ideas, new information. Yeah. I'm not rigid, okay? I know what I, I know what, what? I always go through the outcome and here's my outcome of this vision, right? When I have a challenging day like I had today, here's what I. I see someone that came to our retreat center early, diagnosed with cancer, obesity, depression, addiction, whatever. Okay. And 16 days later, they're giving me a big hug with tears coming down their tears with their cheeks, saying Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for blessing my life and giving me this great gift of transformation and more importantly, giving me transformation at last. Because the way you taught it and the way you structured it, I know I can take it home with me and I can stay on this path. It wasn't just a diet, it wasn't just a change. It's it's life. Affecting transformation that will last forever. Mm-hmm. That's, and so I go to that moment, I go, yeah, every time there's roadblocks, you're like, I just know what the end vision of this is. And I mean, so anyone listening today could. Take that in any aspect of their life. if you have this dream career in your mind and you have one bad day with a client or a manager, you can't let yourself get caught up in that one thing. You had to say, okay, there's a bigger, longer term plan here. Hey Jen. No. Today, just today long and I, I've invested millions in this tons of time and energy. Mm-hmm. I mean, two or three times a thought comes, why are you doing? Why are you trying, you're, you're five years old, you got your own health, why are you doing this, man? Yeah. And, but, but, but I get rid of that thought. Yeah. See, thoughts come and they go. But who's in charge of what gets to stay? That's us. Right? So I take that negative thought, boom, okay, boom. And then I replace it with that vision of what my, what the, I want the outcome to be. Listen, like, here's the problem with all this. There was a great book written. It's a great book. I strongly recommend it, but the title sucks because it says, think and Grow Rich. Well that's great, but you gotta get off the couch too. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I had to listen to those. I had to create those intentions. I had to listen, then I had to go to work, and then I had to, you know, make'em happen. So we can't just woowoo this, right? They're, we have to take action as well. And so I think it's super important that people realize that life is difficult, life is full of challenges, and, and the problem is we think it shouldn't be, you know, especially us Americans, probably Canadians too, you know, we're entitled to think, Hey, why should I have problems? I'm a, I'm American, right? And when you come into other countries and you, you know, I've been to India and even here, we have a ton of poverty down here. Yeah. And so when you realize how blessed we are and how fortunate we are, then you realize that, you know, I need to own my gratitude. I need to give, thank for my blessings, and realize I'm in charge of what gets to live here. I want to help the audience understand why you're creating this Mountains of Hope Retreat Center in Columbia, because you said you've been working on this for a couple of years. And this is not just something, I think anyone that builds any kind of nonprofit or retreat center or a way to give back to people, you don't just wake up one day and wanna create that you're, something happens in your life that empowers you and motivates you to say, there is an issue here. I want to make something that's gonna help more people than what I went through. So I know your story, but if you wanna tell the audience a little bit about. Your late wife who you lost to breast cancer and why and how that led you to creating this retreat center. Well, very astute observation on your part. So there's always a purpose, right? And so, so my purpose actually, So my wife passed away in 2011 at the age of 38 after a nine year battle with breast cancer, right? but she was the one that loved me. And even though I didn't love myself, she taught me how to love number one. And, and if, if she told me once, she told me a million times, Mike, you need to learn to be vulnerable. And I didn't even know what she was talking about, and most men probably don't even so, but when she died, I became very vulnerable for the first time in my. I had no resistance. I was devastated with this amazing, overwhelming grief. And so God was able to come in and just slice, open my heart, take out all the arrogance, all the bullshit, all the self-centeredness, and replace it with love. But I was still in enormous pain and enormous grief. So, In that state. A friend of mine called me one, one month after she had passed and said, Hey, my sister-in-law's moving from Wyoming to San Francisco Bay area. She has one day after your wife passed. One month. One month, one month. Yeah, this guy calls me up and says, Hey man, can you help me out? My sister-in-law is moving from Wyoming to um, bay Area. She has stage four breast cancer. She's 38 years old. The same age as my wife had passed. She has three children. No husband, can you help her out? She needs an oncologist. I said, sure. Her name was Amanda. So I took Amanda, I, I called my late wife's oncologist some set of appointment, man, and I. He said, okay, let's run some tests. I want you to go do all these tests, which every doctor does, even though the tests were just done a week ago, we gotta do'em again. Right? So I think they're all in this together. So anyways, so, so we go and we do like two or three hospital visits, doctor visits, you know, she's gotta get a port put in here. They wanted to do a test over here, so you know, three or four hospital and doctor visits. And Amanda was African American. She wasn't married, she didn't have good insurance, she didn't have a lot of resources. She probably didn't, maybe didn't have the same personality that my late wife had. And so what I noticed is that she was treated much differently than we were, and they either talked down, but state was this in California. California. Yeah. Bay Area. And so I just felt very, very uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. It wasn't my place to say anything, right? Mm-hmm. So we go back to my late wife's oncologist and he says, Amanda, the best protocol to extend your life are these three chemotherapies simultaneously. Unfortunately, your insurance will only pay for one. So that's all I can. I have to tell you, Janelle, I mean, I was shocked. I mean, literally shocked. I didn't know the world worked like that. Okay, call me stupid. And I just instinctively said, here's my credit card. You give her whatever she needs for as long as she needs it. Unbeknownst to me, that was the seed that became my nonprofit foundation called the Love for Margo Foundation. Mm-hmm. So as Margo's, love that, that changed. But it was Amanda that inspired this foundation and well boy, then I got into that work. Holy nothing. Well, that's like I am not even American and I know, I know enough about American healthcare that it would make you sick because Yeah. one of the things that I've realized about American healthcare is you could be so healthy and have a great life, and if you get one wrong health problem or health scare within your family, you're bankrupt for the rest of. And not only that, I what kills you? The disease or the treatment. Okay, because let me tell you what happened to me. So I work with Amanda until she passes after about 18 months. So I create this, here's what I saw the need to be. Women. Did she go through the same treatment as your wife? Yeah, a guy, you know, I've sat, I've sat so many bedsides. I was just thinking about sit when you, for some reason just flash sitting at her bedside while she was passing, and it was so intense. I probably sat a dozen bedsides with people passing, and it's the greatest blessing anybody could ever, most people don't want to deal with it, but it's a blessing to be there. Why? I think I'd be too scared. Yeah. You know, I'm just lucky that, that, I'm just feel led to do this work. Right. And I have a dear friend. So what happened was, honestly, when my wife Margot was passing. I met this amazing man named Dale Borla, who has this amazing nonprofit foundation called The Living Dying Project. He's been, he was in India in the 1970s studying under Maharajji who worked with Rom dos and they, MDOs and him came back to the States and they created a dying center where people could go to die spiritually and have a healing death where they would heal. And it would be a spiritual moment. And, and that's what I found so profound and what he taught us, give you an example. So he would drive 90 minutes every day to come to our house and taught her what to expect when she takes that last breath. Taught her how to meditate through the pain. And then gave me great tips like Mike, you first of all the both of us while she was still alive. Everybody needs to come say goodbye to her now while she's still here. So everybody came and say goodbye every Wow. Everybody worked out for any issues. All healing, healing, healing. It was profound for me to witness, you know, and I wouldn't be in the room. Of course, I went and them my goodbye, but then every, I would just escort people in and they'd wanna be by themselves and they'd have their goodbye. I mean, think of this, I mean, literally see 90 pounds bald. They actually put a port in the top of her head that drip chemo into her cerebral spinal fluid. So imagine this. Then he goes after she passes, make her look really pretty and have everybody come and say goodbye again. Mm-hmm. And boy was that profound. Like my daughter. Okay. It was probably your age, says Dad, I'm no longer afraid of death cuz Margo was so peaceful that. I just realized that there's nothing to be afraid of, right? So this whole experience was profound. But back to the, the, the nonprofit that I started working with women below the poverty line, guess what? They have no money to begin with. They get diagnosed and now they have no job cuz they gotta take time off. Their expenses go up, they got no money, there's no safety net, they are screwed, right? So I go, okay, I'm gonna provide financial as. While they go through treatment, the theory being they'll go through treatment, they'll get well and they go back to work. I think that worked once out of 150 times. I was gonna say. Typically they get sicker and sicker and sicker and pass away. And so, but that work, those four years of doing that work forever changed me. Like you can't believe, first of all, these women, they inspire me. They're so courageous and they have very little support system. Most of my women were in Oakland, were African American. Yeah. 50 or so years old. Breast cancer and guess. They're having to raise their grandchildren because their son or daughter's not around, either in jail or on drugs. Terrible, terrible situation. Usually not a husband. No emotional support. One of the saddest things I've ever experienced, I could tell you stories that, and it, it's also the stress, like I think a lot of cancer is caused through stress. So it's like, Her entire family circle is dependent on her. And then if she gets sick, like the stress of that, knowing that no one in her mind, no one's gonna be okay if she goes, that's just gonna further feed the cancer. Yep. Yep. And it is so sad. It really is. So anyways, I was going broke doing this after four years. I go, okay. So I go, okay, enough of that. What can I, but were you, were you raising money from other people because it was like a nonprofit Fair. Fair? Yes, but I'm not a good, first of all, not a lot of people wanna give money to poor people, minority, poor people that are dying. Okay. Not a lot, not a lot of people wanna give money to them. Yeah. That they have no relation to. Yes, exactly. So, so anyways, it was mostly my money and then I go, okay, well how can I help? I'm gonna buy'em water purifiers and juicy machines and vegetables. I'm gonna teach'em how to strengthen their immune system. So the chemo and the radiation and the surgeries don't do that much damage. Yeah. Yeah. Now they, here was the problem, you know? Now, and I was also doing this in Southern California, so those were mostly Mexican women that were here illegally. Okay. Mostly African American one. So the conditions were her, I could tell you things you wouldn't believe. I'll tell you what, I'm sitting in a Wendy's restaurant. This is, we're still in the Bay Area? No. Now I'm in Palm Desert, so I, I have a, I also live in Palm Springs, and so I'm going back and forth, so I'm doing it in Palm Desert and I'm doing it in the Bay Area, so the Mexican women are all in Palm Desert. I'm there, I'm sitting in a Wendy's. Beautiful young woman, probably 40 years old. And so they don't speak English, so they have to bring a translator because I'm, if I'm gonna give grants, I wanna know who I'm giving it to. I wanna know why I'm giving it, and I wanna know how I can help besides the money, because this is where my heart was. Right? Yeah. And so she has like her husband, so she's sitting across, we're at a bench thing at Wendy's restaurant, and then she's sitting here, her husband's sitting. And her daughter's over here translating. Right. She got so emotionally upset talking about all that. She literally lifts her tube top up where they just removed. All there are is two scars where they've removed their breast. I mean, I was blown away, you know, just fresh, I mean, 10 days ago. Mm-hmm. So many experiences like that. One poor woman in in Palm Desert. she couldn't pay her rent. Her son, her 18 year old son is, and the very attractive mother, very attractive son, very sweet people, and she can't pay her rent. But she's also crying because they removed one breast and never replaced it. So here's this beautiful 40 something year old woman with one normal breath, and they go, okay, well, sorry so I go ba Basically you can't afford the reconstructive surgery, so I'm not gonna do. Exactly. So then I said to the kid, I go, does your mom want help paying the renters? She want me to help her get another breast? And he says She'd really like another breast. I said, okay, let's do that. Long story short, we couldn't do it cuz she was on blood thinners and so they couldn't have surgery. So I just gave her the money. and then boy Beka, Oakland, California, her mother sold her for. From age eight to 14 so her mother could get crack cocaine. So Banika gets breast cancer, of course. Right? Almost every illness. This is what we teach at Mounds of Oak. Almost every illness is related to some emotional wound that never got healed. An emotional is, yeah, Louise, hey, teaches that and she links Yeah. Interesting. To every organ, some emotion. Right? So there's So we're, we're physical, mental, emotional, spiritual beings. We can't just treat one and ignore the others. Right. So anyways, long story short I, I go, okay. I gotta do something. So that's why I came to Columbia. I've been looking to build something and then I fell in love down here, got married. So that was an 18 month honeymoon. Then the pandemic hit. That was two years of playing golf. And so now we're back at it. Right? So now we can finally, so our first retreat is September 2nd of this year. So we're working hard to get everything done. Yeah. Mike, let me ask you this, and I feel like a lot of people haven't asked you this. You spent a lot of money helping these women and watching them just suffer and suffer and you, like you said, majority of them died even after all the treatments. Talk to me about your emotional and physical health during this time. Great, great question. So, you know, in financial health, Well, yeah, so I'm, I got blessed there. I got some lucky breaks along the way, some business, but, so, but, but I do think I affected my own health honestly. So, so cuz the 10 years with my wife, you know, was very traumatic. You know, that when we met we really weren't supposed to be together, so we went through holy hell, just to be together. Mm. And then early on, nine months into our relationship, I find this tumor right here. And so for nine of the 10 years we're going through this cancer stuff. Wow. and she wants to have a baby. So we look at this in vitro for, so that was stress of 10 years. Stress all the time. Yeah. And then the grief, the, the stress of the grief. I had no idea, cuz I never stopped. I went, you know, I, I, I tried to go through it as best I could, but all of a sudden Amanda showed up and all of a sudden I'm right back in the same hospitals, right back in the same doctor saying I saw, I think I went a little too quick there, but, so I have some physical issues myself now, so that's the other great thing about what I'm building as this retreat center is for people that need, but I now it's, I'm, I'm doing it for myself too, to deal with my physical issues. Of course, way before all of this started, you were a very successful and wealthy car salesman in California. You said an interesting thing when we talked last time, you. You had everything that you want, but then at one point you fell asleep. What did you mean by that? Well, it's so, it's interesting, so. You know, I got a job as a car salesman. Yeah, I worked my way up, got some lucky brakes and became an owner, and I've owned quite a few car dealerships in the Bay Area but I never fulfilled that six intention of contribution. You know, I would try, like I taught Bible study, I coached Little League I, I'd do a little bit of juvenile hall teaching, little stuff there, but I really never fully embraced it. And as a result, I had a 4 million house, four wonderful kids, a wife who had probably fallen out of love with just because we'd grown so far apart. I'm constantly reading books, constantly growing, constantly evolving. You know, she's still smoking cigarettes. Still, you know, and it so things were a little empty. And I think that God brought this person into my life who ended up passing away to shake my life up. You know, play-Doh talked about twin flames. And the way he described it is that we're one soul cut in half and we spend many lifetimes looking for the other half. Mm-hmm. And when that. You better look out. So the moment that, so here I was a successful car dealer. This woman walks in to sell me Hispanic advertising. The moment our eyes met, there was this connection, just like I've never felt anywhere before or since. And, but I don't say nothing the day she walked. I'm, I'm the last guy getting divorced. I married my wife twice. I'm, I'm fortunate, I'm blessed. I mean, no matter what, I'm not going. It's just, I don't want that pain ever again in my life. Right. And the day she walked my own, she don't even been married two months, 27 years old. She's not getting divorced. I mean, so, so we had this connection. We didn't talk about it for seven months, but for seven months we worked together. I'm falling in love with her. She doesn't know it. She's fall in love with me, I don't know it. And one day we compare notes and that. That was the beginning. You can't deny that chemistry and attraction you both could have stuck to your own marriages and just appreciate it that I'm attracted to that person. Yeah, we have chemistry and compatibility, but it's so hard not to go after that. I mean, we live one life at the end of the day or like within this life. this is it. Why not go? Here's what I'll say about that, Janelle. Now, I'll tell you my biggest mistake I ever made in my whole life, I wouldn't change a thing except for this one thing, okay? So we, we started an affair for three weeks. We couldn't stay apart, so we both lied to our spouses and said, we just needed space and we need time, and blah, blah, blah. What I should have said is, I'm sorry I met someone. I fell in love and I'm leaving, but I love you kids. I'm not going anywhere. And I told my kids that all the time, but I should have been honest with their mother. Right? ripped that bandaid off instead of. We, Margot and I both thought, we'll figure a way to be together without hurting these people. Well, that's impossible. Now here's what, impossible. Impossible. But you know, we were smart and stupid and at the same time, but here's what I will say, and because I think about this a lot, and I look at it ev, all four of us, even her who's no longer in her body, and I've had experiences with her out of her body since she's left. All four of us are in a better position. Yeah. As far as spiritually our heart, everything, she couldn't have kids. Okay. Her, her ex-husband now has kids. My wife is with a much better partner than me. For her. You already had kids, so you didn't care to have more. Yeah. No, I, I wanted to have they cooked her so bad with the chemo? Yeah. That they couldn't, couldn't have'em. We tried, that's how we found out it came back is when we were doing in vitro fertilization, you know? So, so I really wanted a child for her, you know, there I wrote a beautiful book called Living in Color, where I talk about it so I wasn't even in the meeting when they said, cuz I was just her boyfriend and, and they have a tumor board at Stanford Hospital. They have a meeting, three doctors, Should we wait two weeks and freeze eggs, or should we start chemo now? Mm-hmm. I'm not, I shouldn't say this, but I'm gonna say it anyways, but they start chemo right away. They start getting revenue right away, and they wait two weeks to freeze the eggs. They gotta wait two weeks for revenue, right? So I'm not gonna accuse them of that, but it does cross my mind occasionally. But I'll never forget because after she passed, and this is why this book Living and Color is so powerful. After she passed, I found her journals from age 12 to the time she. Wow. And I'd heard all these stories verbally from her, but now I'm reading them and there's this part in there where she talks about that moment of those doctors saying, we need to start chemo right away. We can't freeze. It just tears, tears and tears. Her writing was so rich and so deep, it was very traumatic for her, you know? Mm-hmm. So, so it wasn't that, it was just that she couldn't have children. Right. Interesting. When you were dealing, cuz you were her full-time caregiver for a while. Yeah. Well, especially, so December 1st, 2010, the doctor said, Margot, unfortunately the cancer spread to the lining of your brain. If you do nothing, you have six weeks to live. Mm-hmm. And if you treat it, you have six months to live. And so that, that's the book, living in Color, those six months, I chronicled those six months with flashbacks into our love story. So, so for those last six months, me, her and her parents, we were together. Everywhere, every day. and it was so intense, the surgeries that she went through, the draining of the lungs. I mean, I just, it's not even human really what they do. We never talked about treating it or not treating them. When we let that doctor's office, it was just full speed ahead. And we said, okay, we're gonna live your life as if you're gonna live forever. And we're gonna prepare for that last breath every night. And that's what we did. So we fought like hell during the day for life, and we prepared every night for that last breath. And so that's what made those six months so profound for me. I got to witness this amazing, courageous person full of love and, and concern for others. Never once asked why me never once complained, and just was more concerned with other people. And so it forever changed me and I'm so grateful for. Listening to you tell these stories. I feel, I feel like meeting this woman really changed you as a person. Oh, you had so many opportunities to change prior to that and transform, but it seems like just one woman walking into your dealership do you look at your life before and after? And I guess now it's also before and after again. Yeah, but you know, it, it just changed it, boy, it just takes one person, doesn. You know what it takes. Really? Yeah. Love unc. That's what I'm saying. Uncon, unconditional love. Love has the power to transform like nothing else. Yeah. And unconditional love. And also loss, you know? Yeah. You know, loss, loss is a great teacher, you know, and so many people are going through loss right now. You know, so many weird things going out in the world. And so grief, you know, loss is loss. I don't care if it's a, a death of someone or divorce or loss of business, loss of. Loss of self-esteem. Okay. A loss is a loss and grief is grief, and there's degrees of course, but, if we go through our pain and our suffering and our loss and get to the other side of it, that's where the miracle is. That's where the transformation is. I mean, that's the purpose of this entire podcast mission. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. God bless you. when someone's going through cancer, I mean, you never know when the end is coming. Are you almost always like scared? Today? Might be the last day. Today might be the last day. Like how do you keep going? Just the opposite. Every day you think you have one more day. Until they're gone. Okay. So that's the tricky part, right? You know, of course I know she's gonna die, right? Ray Charles can see she's gonna die. Okay? But you always think you have one more day and man, when that's when it hits you like a ton of bricks, you know, when you don't have that one more day. So, it's, it's, it is, you know, so many people are going through grief and I see it all the time. There's nothing you can do for'em, you know? Yeah. All you can do. Here's what I tell people going through grief is I got good news and bad news. The bad news is your life will never be the same again. The good news is you will never be the same again. If you allow yourself to go through this, you will grow so much further, faster, farther than you ever dreamt possible. If you don't self-medicate, if you don't become bitter and you choose to become better instead, and some people don't. Some people can't deal with it. Some people die hours later after they've lost a great love. Right? Yeah. So I know people like. but the trick is you know, Rumi said grief is the garden of compassion. And when I read that early on, I go, this is crazy. This makes no, now I get it. Because it softens you, it gets you to open, it gets you to move from here to here and then open this thing. And when you walk around with a big open heart, life takes on a whole meaning. Hmm. Hmm. I agree. Knowing that your retreat starts this September, what is that? Five months? Yeah, five months. What still needs to get? Oh my gosh. I was up there the other day and I actually took a buddy American buddy that's down here. I took him up there to show it to him. Yeah. And uh, he's, I'm six five, he's 66, and so we had to cross like where they're building some stuff and he slipped and fell into a six foot deep hole. And, and he's claustrophobic. So he's freaking out and he injured himself. So I jump in this whole, I mean, it was so, it is totally under construction. The entire house is totally gutted. We have 12 bedrooms, totally gutted. We're turning into five star thing. Uh, We're building a pool of jacuzzi. A Coldwater plunge. Yeah, a gymnasium, pickleball, courts some game rooms. Then we're building a spa in a conference center where we can do the education and the teaching and the, you got like a little condo building going on down there. It's, it's unbelievable. It really is. So, but more importantly, it's the curriculum. Yeah. Because there's a lot of education that comes with this. The first week is a physical detox, so there's a lot of education around that. The next week we move into consciousness and spirituality and meditation and plant medicines and shamans and all that kind of stuff. Mm-hmm. So we're. Our guests are gonna get the whole kitchen sink thrown at them so that they can figure out what works best for them for their healing. And by the way, we're 7,000 feet in the Andes Mountains. It's called the City of Eternal Spring. Every day it's 60 to 80 degrees. It's Fahrenheit. I've never felt so much energy in a place in my whole life. I always say, if you can't heal here, you can't heal anywhere. It's that powerful. And it's that beautiful. You can feel it. It's really, it's unbelievable. Yeah. who is the ideal person to be going to these retreats? Well, I'm glad you asked that. I was thinking about this this morning. You know what? So when, when Margo was my girlfriend and she gets this diagnosis, if I've known what I'd known now, and there was a place like Mountains of Hope, she would go there. She would've shrunk that tumor. Six months but with the mind and the emotion and the detox and putting good stuff into her body. And when she was stage four in 2007, when it came back stage four, if we'd known about mountains hope and we could go to a mounts. Hope she could have beat it then. I really believe this with all my heart. So that's one person, cuz she was still strong enough. You gotta be, yeah, you have to be strong. I mean, you know, you can't be in a wheelchair and you can't be on oxygen. You gotta be still able to take care of yourself. The other person that's someone like me, 65 years old, that. Has, uh, some kidney issues, has some heart issues. Cuz I've had a very stressful, tough life, right? Yes. And I've taken care of myself a lot, but a lot of times I haven't. Right? So it's for real, ideally for people like me, especially for guys that, or girls. Girls that, that have a big purpose and a big mission, still have a lot of music left in them, still have a lot of life to live, but have a health issue. Come get regenerated, get that energy back, learn how to detox, learn how to heal, and go out there and help me and others change the world. Hmm. How long is it again or how long will it be? So it's, it's 15. Nice. Yeah. Only two, two weeks and a bit the first week is physical detox. The next week is emotional spiritual detox. So we sell'em separately, but we really encourage people to do the whole two weeks. Yeah. Mike, it's actually, do you ever wake up some day and think about yourself at 24 years old and then look in the mirror of who you are now? Do you feel like they're the same in some. Well, and my wife will attest to this too in a lot of ways I haven't grown up. Okay. Yeah, I, my four adult children just sent me a picture yesterday from Easter and I posted on Facebook and I go, my kids aren't kids anymore. Right? And everybody said, Neither are you. You know? So I do have a, I do have a personality that keeps me young. Yeah. And, and so I'm grateful for that. But I've lived so many lives and I've learned so much, and really, you know, what kept me going all those years, you know, the mystery man helped me get going. Yeah. And gave me a technique and a process. But guess what? Life is difficult. So, my childhood programming was pretty intense, right? So I had a lot of onions to unravel and so, but Books, books is what kept me going and that's why I wanted to write books because I know that from Wayne Dyer, to Zig Ziegler, to Tony Robbins, to Eckhart Tole, to Byron Katie, these are the people that. Feed me, right? These are the people that get me up and keep me going. So I, that's why I wanted to write my story, my book, because I, I wanna inspire people to do more and to do better. And, and because, you know, I think it was tho Rose said, most men lead lies of quiet desperation. And I know that I've been in that boat before. I, I have a lot of friends. I see, I have a lot of wealthy friends, and I see their lifestyle. I see what's really going on. I see'em in their weakest moments and. You know, the, the penny's not always shiny when you really look at it, right? So I want people to say, Hey, you know, humanity is suffering right now, and who's gonna fix it? You know, there's three, there's three quotes that I like. One is Evil exists because Good men do nothing. Bonhoeffer said, A righteous man lives for the next generation. And Martin Luther King said an insulted. justice anywhere is an insulted justice everywhere. And so that's what my life's about. I saw the injustice in the medical system. I know it exists in the criminal system and, and the government. All these systems, right? And I have four kids. I have seven grandkids. I worry about my seven grand, even my four kids. I have my seven. What kind of life am I leaving for them behind, right? Yeah. And so this is what drives me and I see the suffering. Let me tell you, these women, I saw the suffering. And listen, there's 7 billion people allegedly here. And if all of us, if all of us would lift up someone less fortunate, boom. the whole consciousness shifts. I agree. All this, all the craziness comes to an end. We gotta go back to humanity being a community of integrity and responsibility and not all this other TikTok stuff we're to right now. Well, it depends what your TikTok feed is. Well, you can program that. Yeah, there you go. Good feed. If your TikTok feed is awful, you've programmed that with your attention, right? Right. You can change it and you can change any social media feed if you want it to. Uh, Last but not least, Mike, you've given us a lot of things that we could be doing to uplevel our consciousness and, and change our life for the better. People don't want a to-do list after this podcast. So what's just one thing that they can change or edit within their life that you think will make the biggest change? One thing understand that everything in their physical reality, Comes from their thoughts and the emotion they attach to it, right? Yeah. And that they're in control of this. And if they don't like, listen, I love Dr. Joda dispenser, right? my favorite line that he says, if you want a new personal reality, if you want something different in your life to happen, You need to change your personality. You need to change what you're doing because it's our thoughts and our emotions create our actions, which creates our destiny, right? So if people could just understand one thing, these thoughts, okay. Aren't yours, they're just floating or on here. You get to decide what you get to keep or throw out and what you keep. You can nurture and water and create something beautiful, especially if you attach a powerful intention like love or gratitude or contribution to it, right? So that's the thing. Understand how powerful you truly are and you're not a victim, your creator. And now get up and go out and create something. Mike, for everyone that wants to connect with you. After listening to this episode, what's the best. So my website is Mike Murphy unfiltered.com, and if you go there, Mike Murphy unfiltered.com/gift. We have a little gift for you. We'll give you one of our products for free. So go there, Mike Murphy unfiltered.com. And if you wanna check out our Wellness retreat center, it's mountains of hope.com, and our nonprofit is love for margot.org. So there you. Mike, thank you so much for all of your wisdom. We just had Easter this past weekend and I did not go to church, but I definitely just went to church in this episode. That's what I feel like and this is my type of church. So thank you so much uh, being that for us today. Thank you Janelle. You're a beautiful woman. You have a beautiful show and uh, thank you very much. Thank you. Did you know that I'm not only a podcast host, but in my full-time career, I met Toronto based real estate agent. If you are someone, you know, is a busy professional looking to get into the Toronto real estate market, I highly recommend reaching out to me. You can go directly to my website@wwwdotjenelletremblant.com. And you can click the let's talk button to book a call with me. I work with buyers, renters, and sellers in the downtown and east end areas. So don't hesitate to reach out to me and I would love to help you find your next home. And in the meantime, we'll see you here back next week.