Work Stress, Difficult Clients, and Chemistry vs. Compatibility with Jenelle Tremblett

#137: Jenelle reflects on the various work-related challenges she has faced recently. She shares a particularly difficult experience with a client who became angry and disrespectful towards her, leading to a stressful situation that affected her emotionally. Jenelle also shares her thoughts on chemistry vs. compatibility in her dating life. 

These experiences make her reflect on the role of feminine energy and how she wants to avoid being aggressive or disrespectful like the people she encountered. She also recognizes the need to trust her intuition and establish boundaries in her work and personal life. 

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Jenelle Tremblett: Website | Instagram | TikTok

Podcast: Website | Instagram | YouTube | TikTok 

Transcript

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welcome to the ebb and glow podcast. I'm your host, Janelle Tremlett. And I'm a firm believer that even when life doesn't go as planned, it is taking you exactly where you're meant to be on this podcast. I'm here to help you finally release control of what you think you want and begin to just trust in the ebbs and flows of life. Each week, I will show you how to build that positive mindset radiate with self confidence and cultivate an unshakeable resilience. Let me prove to you that even when life ebb. You will glow. Hello everyone and welcome to episode 1 37 of the Eeb and Glow podcast. Today's episode is with me to talk about just life updates and how I'm ebbing and glowing in my own life. Also, as I was setting this up, if you're watching the video version of this episode, I'm realizing that this new. Setup is looking pretty jungley. I have my big birds of paradise here. I have my Mons Sarah there, and the plan is to get some shelving above my head to have even more plants. Anytime I'm on FaceTime with my mom, she's like, oh, you don't need any more plants. And I say, Actually quite the opposite. I want more plants. I want it to feel like a total jungle in here. But yeah, this plant next to me is definitely really, really big. But I love it. My, my home is very white and neutral with like beige and like browns and wooden colors, and then just a lot of plants and a lot of like green. And every time I come home it just feels like my oasis, which I love. And. Yeah, and I just love it. It's so funny. I feel like the cost of Toronto has gotten insane lately. I was out for drinks with some friends of mine over the weekend and I got one glass of wine, one, one glass of wine. I think it was eight ounces,$22 for an eight ounce glass of wine. I said to my friends, okay, this is my first and last class. Let's get out of here and go somewhere else. But where I'm going with that is I love to spend time in my own home. And some of it's because I feel like the cost of Toronto is absolutely insanity these days. But I've built such an oasis. In this home that I'm excited when, when I'm out all day with clients or even just in my everyday life with friends. I am really excited to come home and I am very down to spend as much time at home as I can. So what are we going to talk about today? What is going on in my life when I think back? so the last solo episode I did was a recap on my Portugal trip. So what I would've gotten back the beginning of May. So I guess it's been six weeks now. When I think back over my life in the past six weeks, the biggest things that are coming to mind is I've had so much work crap come up and I do not know what the universe is trying to test me with. The scenarios I've had lately with clients and work situations is just. Something like I haven't had before. Dealing with so many angry people, dealing with clients who have absolutely no respect for your time. treat you like you're disposable. It's just such an icky feeling. So, Why don't I tell you about some of those situations recently, one of the biggest situations that really affected me in the past month was I was dealing with a client who I. Ended up becoming a very nasty, angry woman towards me. It was insanity. I had to get my broker involved, everything. It was crazy how this situation turned out. And the deal was so great right up until the point where we were just doing next steps, tying all the loose ends, and then all of a sudden everything turned and. She ended up sending me some very nasty emails and almost harassing me over text. It was craziness, I've been in real estate for three years now and I have not had anyone treat me like that, especially not a client. When I think back about how it affected me, I know I run my business in a way where I truly care about my clients and everything being done correctly. So when there's a situation where someone distrusts me or feels like I'm not doing a good job for them, it really affects me. And then when they take it to an even further point of. Just questioning my integrity and questioning how good I am at my job. Oh my God. It really truly affects me emotionally and I'm sure any anyone listening probably feels the same anytime you're dealing with a very stressful situation. It can drain you emotionally so, so much. I remember while that was happening, that that week you don't realize how exhausted you are just from emotions until maybe a couple days later. So after all of that went down, I was supposed to have a, a friend's party that that weekend and I ended up coming home and being exhausted at like five o'clock on a Friday and I thought to myself, okay, let me just lay down for a second and take a nap. Anyways, I woke up three hours later and woke up definitely with an emotional hangover and I realized in that moment, whew, okay. The stress of this week has really taken a toll on me and I. I wasn't able to go to my friend's birthday, which is really unfortunate because when you work so much and, and you don't see your friends very often, I. It's, it's hard to have to say no or to rain check on an event, but I know for me, I don't like to go to something if I'm not feeling my best. I don't ever want to be that person that feels like they're gonna be a bit of a drain or bit of a, a downer for for the party. So I ended up not going, and so then that further affects your social relationships with people. It further affects. Your happiness in terms of your everyday life because you feel that you're working so much. You have a client that you've done so much work for, and they were just so rude and nasty to you, and then because you're upset by that, then you don't even go and spend time with your friends. It's, uh, as, as the person being affected by it. I feel it's a lose lose situation. You know, it's interesting. When I think back, it was a real good reminder of I need to trust my intuition. I've never, ever been wrong about my intuition, and I remember my first conversation with this client. She was very dismissive, extremely dismissive. And we were trying to coordinate a time to meet up and I said, oh, like I can't go this time because I have X, Y, and Z. And she cut me off right away and basically said I don't really care what else you have to do, just tell me when you're available or not. And it was like, my goodness. Anyways, I could go on and on. But the interesting thing about that situation was I look at that situation where I dealt with a really angry woman and there's something about women being nasty and rude to other women that just does not sit right with me. And that was one of four situations where I dealt with angry women. In that, like in the span of a week. So there was that situation. I was, there was two times when I was biking around Toronto and I just had middle aged women yelling at me saying I was doing something wrong. And it's like, guys, this, these streets are so busy, we're just trying to survive out here when we're biking around traffic. And then there was another moment, I forget what the situation was, but I remember there being another situation where I just dealt with a really angry woman. And upon talking to my therapist and other friends, I thought, what is this universe reflecting back to me? And when I think back, I, I wonder if it has something to do with, right now in my life, I'm trying to lean into my feminine energy a little bit more, and I feel that I've was shown so many examples of very masculine, aggressive women that I don't find attractive at all. I just feel like it's a really like icky feeling when a woman acts that way. And so maybe when I, when I think back, maybe it's the universe showing me, hey, While you're leaning into your feminine energy or trying to explore that side of yourself, here's examples of what we know that you do not wanna be. So here's a reminder and. I too, in my past have been angry just in my own life and, and taking it out on other people and using other people as a punching bag. and I think going through these situations, it was a mirror reflecting back once again of saying, let me show you what you were like in that situation when you were on the other side, and how potentially you may have really affected someone else's day. How you were not your best self, how you were taking out all of your own crap on a someone else when they had nothing to do with it. And so I'm glad those situations came up in my life, although they really, really stressed me out emotionally. And yeah, just put dampers on my day. It was a really nice reminder of what I don't wanna be and how I really don't want to act. Around that same week as well, or the week prior, I dealt with another really aggressive agent a male agent, and I had a listing that he was applying for, he was applying for, for his tenant, and I was asking for extra documents to be able to present it to my client and. That's the normal part of the job. We need a few more documents, and he was so mean and aggressive on the phone. He was so defensive. Anytime I would ask for another document and then decided to really tear down my business and asking, oh, is this your first time ever doing this? Like, you don't seem like you know what you're doing. When in fact, I absolutely know what I'm doing, and I've done this many times. It almost seemed like his ego was so big that I wasn't even saying no to him. I was really looking at his tenant's application, but just because I was asking him for more or maybe making him feel that he didn't have the application. Perfectly ready for me. He did not like that. And my God, I mean, anyone who knows anything about real estate, especially with agents, knows how much ego is in this business and it's, ugh, it's so, it, it's disgusting how much ego is in this business. And what's really funny about that situation is that agent is actually one of the main people of a brokerage that I was. Really eyeing up for maybe, maybe something in the future or I, I've just been admiring from afar. And when I realized that he would've been like one of the main managers or one of the main head people within that brokerage, immediately, I have no interest in that brokerage at all ever again. And yeah, that was such an icky feeling. I really hope I don't ever interact with him again. It's within this business. You work a lot and I saw a, I saw a TikTok recently. It was a girl that worked in sales she said, sales is amazing because the highs are high, but damn, the lows are low and working in real estate, which is a hundred percent commission based in sales. Yeah, I understand that. And I find over the past month or so I've had. Some really low lows, some highs, not as high as they usually are, but some but a lot of lows and my God, they are low. Another situation within work that I had that really turned me off was a, I was working with a group that, one of them I actually knew personally. It was, her and another girl. And essentially I worked so hard for them, always going above and beyond and. They were texting me at all hours of the night. They'd be texting me at 11:00 PM and then again at 7:00 AM and eventually they got upset because I wasn't answering them at all hours of the night. And if you know anything from my podcast or anything from my solo episodes, you know, boundaries are very important to me. It's very easy to get burned out within this business. And in the summertime, I feel I'm perpetually burnt out, but, and that's with boundaries. So imagine if I didn't have boundaries. And anyways, I really felt that they were always creeping up and crossing over my boundaries. And then the next day I just said, Hey, like, reminder, these are like, this is my job. Like I'm, I'm not your friend. Like this is my job. I do work working hours and business hours. I'm not available at all times. And anyways, because of that, they ended up going to another real estate agent and didn't wanna work with me anymore. And this was after putting in multiple offers for them. It was just, it's so disheartening when someone treats you as so disposable as that when you are just giving them the facts and you're doing everything you can. I feel sometimes consumers, especially in Toronto or maybe just in general, they, they think all agents are the same and they think that if they have any bit of difficulty with one, someone else is gonna do it completely differently. But sometimes it's just the way the market is. If the market is a difficult market that we're navigating by changing agents, the situation isn't going to change. What really frustrated me about that situation is my acquaintance had no interest in having a conversation with me of saying, Hey, we're definitely expecting you to be available at all hours. It's unfortunate that you can't, but it seems like our schedules aren't matching up. I would've said, fine, no worries. I'll, I'll find someone who's available at 11 o'clock at night. Not gonna happen, but I'll try. Yeah, it just felt like when you take a piece of paper and scrunch it all up and just toss it in the garbage, I felt like that piece of paper and it's super unfortunate when you know someone personally that's doing that to you as well. What I had to remember in that situation though, is working with those clients and, I mean, I've had a, couple clients in the past the past couple months that have just brought me a lot of anxiety. It's even just talking to them. It's just not an enjoyable process. And I made a promise to myself last year, back in November that I would not work with any clients that disrupted my peace. And I feel over the past couple months, I've mm, kind of haven't been as, I haven't, I've kind of let that go a little bit. I've kind of let people creep in on the boundaries a bit. I've, I've given more of myself than I should, I think, and. In turn, I feel that some clients respect you less so. I need to, again, from the previous example, trust my intuition more, especially within this business, if something feels off, mm, let it go. Let it go. They'll find someone else to work with. And if someone is disrupting my peace and it's not enjoyable to work with them, I need to take a stance back and be the first one to say, Hey, this is not working. You're not the client for me. It's hard sometimes, even though I have a very abundant mindset, sometimes it's very hard to give up something that you've put a lot of work into, even though you know it just doesn't feel right for you. I posted a TikTok today of saying just how exhausted and depressed I am about the Toronto real estate market, and it is. It is. I'm balancing a lot of clients and I feel that we're all just banging our head against the wall. This happens every summer. The summer is definitely a busy market for sellers, buyers, and renters, and you gotta keep your expectations really, really low. And whenever I take on a new client, I jokingly say, keep your expectations very low. I hope to exceed them, but please start them low because I know how discouraging the summer market can be for some people. In general, it's often just a lot more demand than supply and it feels like hunger Games right now, this summer, and this is my third summer working in Toronto real estate and my God, it feels more hunger games than it ever has before. So yeah, I feel that I am a little bit perpetually burnt out and I need to, yeah, take care of myself a little bit more. In terms of work, I think I've said on this podcast before, I really, really, really want an assistant, but I really need a licensed assistant because I need someone on my team that can really help with the paperwork and the scheduling. So I don't know how that's gonna look, but I'm really looking into some options because something has to change. I find that I thrive best when I'm with clients. I'm out on showings. I'm out running around this city. I do not thrive when I'm putting together paperwork. Actually, it drains me. It does the opposite effect. It really sucks the energy in life outta me, so I really need to figure out a way to offload that. So, If by any chance you're a real estate agent listening to this and you have some tips on how to hire an assistant and what to look for, please reach out. Or if you're listening to this and maybe you are that type of role and you're looking for more business, please talk to me cause I really need someone on my team. Oh my God. Speaking of, I just looked at my phone briefly cuz I, I heard a bunch of emails coming in. There's a place, a rental, there's a rental place that me and a client are offering on right now. 11 offers, and I don't even have hours to submit yet. And I said that to my client, I said, I won't be surprised if there's over eight offers. So ours is number 12 at least. So there's probably at least 12 or more. it's craziness. If you have real estate friends in Toronto, just reach out to them and ask them how they're doing. Or if you have anyone, any friends that are moving or buying or selling, just check in on them because they may be losing their mind. so yeah, so that's work in a nutshell Lately, I hope it gets a little bit better over the next couple months. I have a couple weekend trips planned. I have my mom visiting the end of this month, and then I'm going away for Canada Day weekend for a girls trip. So I feel like that will, Hmm, bring some zen and rebalance me a bit to handle these busy work days. So, fingers crossed. My fingers crossed again, for all of my clients submitting offers, we need to win some. So the other topic that I feel that is very heavily on my mind lately is um, compatibility versus chemistry. I feel like I've talked about this on my podcast before or maybe I just talk about it with my friends all the time, but. It's tough sometimes when you're dating and you have crazy, crazy chemistry. But then when it comes down to it, the compatibility is just not there. and every person that you date or look at in a romantic way, of course it's case by case, but. Where do you draw the line in terms of compatibility? Are you okay if you have different interest? Are you okay if maybe you handle conflict differently? Are you okay with maybe your careers and your scheduling doesn't really align that well? Where do you draw the line? I can compromise. I'm, I'm a stubborn person in a lot of ways, and I like things the way they are. I like things the way I want them to be, and I mean, I'm an only child, so oftentimes, and I'm sure any of my exes can, can agree to this. A lot of times it's my way or the highway. However, when I do care about someone, I am willing to compromise a bit. But I realized in the past month that there are some things that I absolutely will not compromise on, and I'm willing to say goodbye and no to people that, Yeah, a lot of boxes are checked. The chemistry is insane. But damn, if these things aren't aligned, nothing else matters. And so I had a situation recently that I was really upset about and I'm still kind of bummed about it, even though I know it's for the best. But yeah, there was a lot, a lot, a lot of things that made sense. And the chemistry, like I said, was so good. But there was a couple values and views on life that we did not agree on. and views that are huge deal breakers for me, and just anyone that I surround myself with in my life Basically where we disagreed on these views. Like, I'm sorry. Like I would not be able to have you around my family and close friends because you see this differently and it's unfortunate. I'm sure maybe someone's listening to this and thinking, Janelle, like you can still love someone and still have maybe different views politically or religiously. Nah, these were big deal breakers for me. I can be friends with someone and casual acquaintances with someone that, yeah, if we disagree on some bigger life morals and values, sure, that's fine. But if you're looking at someone in a romantic setting and. You wanna build that connection eventually, I assume the, the goal of building that connection is to eventually date and be together and see a future together. But if we disagree on some things that are morally, morally different, You cannot build a life with someone. It doesn't matter how great the chemistry is. It doesn't matter how easily you get along. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day, your views are completely different and it's not going to work. And what I think, it's funny when I do this all the time, You notice something that is incompatible, and then the rose colored glasses come off in some of the other areas, some of the other areas that you would've compromised on or would've let go, now they become a little bit more of a red flag or a little bit more noticeable where you think, yeah, now I see five other things and five other reasons why this wouldn't work out. Yeah. When I found out all of this information I was pretty, pretty bummed about it and I. I had a lot of social events during that day, in the next couple days, and it's so hard to be present sometimes for the people that you love and being around the people that you love when you're dealing with shit on the inside. And I know everyone listening to this has been there. you can't pick and choose when things happen in your life. You can't control that. oftentimes there's things that are happening in your own personal life that really affect you and really, really drain your energy and. and kind of throw a curve ball into your day, but you still have to show up for people. You still have to attend stuff. You can't, you can't rain check on everything. So yeah, that day and that upcoming week yeah, really affected me. And it was actually, this was all happening the same time as all of the other stories I just told about work. So you can imagine my. My emotional rawness and just stress levels during those couple weeks, so that was a couple weeks ago when all that happened. It's getting better. I will say. My mindset has definitely taken a little bit of a hit. I have a podcast episode coming out in a couple weeks where I interviewed a girl on fully mindset and manifestation, and I said to her like, I needed this talk with you because my mindset has gotten a little negative. It's, it's not as strong and abundant as it normally is, and I feel like when the world beats you down a bit or when you have some things that really, really hurt you. It's sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard to see the silver lining the positiveness, and I know if one thing affects me and puts me in a negative mood, I don't know if you're like me, but it seems to be a domino effect where everything starts pissing me off. Everyone gets irritating. Everything just like you get stuck in traffic, it starts raining. Your outfit is awful, you know? You know. and I also find when I am stressed or drained, I tend to sleep a lot where I'm like, okay, let me just rest and I'm sleeping way too much. And then it domino affects the rest of your schedule, especially if you have a high performing schedule that you need to get a lot of things done. But at the end of the day, you have to really take care of yourself. I'm so mindful of my stress levels because I am worried about. Stress causing serious illnesses within my body. So whenever I'm dealing with stuff within my life, I am pretty mindful of really taking the time to process it and deal with it instead of pushing it down. Because I feel like when you push it down and harbor those emotions and not processing the things that are happening in your life. I think that's what causes serious illnesses within your body. And like, I mean, I can feel it over the past couple of weeks. I feel the back pain. I feel the headaches. I, I know there's so much tightness in my neck and shoulders and jaw, and I need to release. I, I need some time away. I need to just take care of myself when some of these things happen. So, yeah, this is not my first rodeo within this job and not my first rodeo of being in the dating world and, and finding out, ah, I guess we're not the match. But it still sucks even though it's, it's happened in the past. It's gonna happen again in the future. Still sucks when it's happening. So I will say the dating scenario that I just spoke about. I was a little proud of myself in a way where I stood my ground and I thought, no, these are my views. These are the values that are important to me. This is inevitably a deal breaker and I'm willing to walk away from it. That's tough. That's tough. A lot of people don't have that strength to walk away from something that they know isn't right for them. And so if you're listening to this and maybe you are in that situation where maybe you're in a job that you feel is toxic, and even though you don't know what's next, you, you know, you, you feel it in your body that there's something better. Out there for you, or if you're in a relationship, and I mean, that's a tried true case of people not wanting to make a change in their life because they're so scared of trying to go and restart and figure it out again. But if they're something in your gut that's telling you that mm, no trust that, that means there's something else better out there for you. And anyone who's single listening to this, just know every person that you meet and every person that you date. You're just getting closer and closer and closer. You're unraveling more and more about what you want, what you desire, what's gonna be the perfect match for you. You're not gonna be able to unravel and discover if you're not putting yourself out there. So never look at any situation as a failure. Look at it as, mm, another puzzle piece. I've figured out a little bit more about myself, about what I want. And I mean, that's beautiful. No. So that's how I felt. This person was a great expander of. Realizing some things that I definitely need it in a person and bringing back the spark and opening my heart again. But it definitely reminded me, hmm, stick to your values, stick to your beliefs, and there's gonna be someone out there who compliments you in such a beautiful way. So there you have it. Those are the two topics that are top of mind for me and what's happening in my life the past month or so. What's upcoming for me is I wanna go back to Europe in August, but I don't know when, maybe September, but I definitely wanna do another trip. I need to figure out some finances and then see if it's worth going, but I really wanna go with a friend. I do really enjoy solo traveling, but I just wanna do like a trip with like a girl or two. Yeah, that would be fun. And that's really all that's planned so far. I'm, the summer is just getting started. I mean, I guess the first day of summer will be next week, which is really exciting. Toronto weather lately has been rainy and gray, but I'm excited for all that hot sun to come back and to be able to use my pool, be able to experience the summer with my friends. Yeah, the summer's young. It hasn't even started it's next week, so I don't know what I'm getting upset about. I shouldn't, I'd have nothing to be upset about. So maybe there is a lot of good in my future. So without further ado, thank you so much for listening. If you've gotten value from this episode, make sure to share it with a friend. I have some great guests coming up in the next few weeks that I think you're going to love. And if you're listening to this and just wanna come on as a guest and just chat, you do not need a whole topic, just come on and trust me. I'll bring out the topics in you cuz I'm very curious person. Wherever you are today. Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. Okay, bye. Did you know that I'm not only a podcast host, but in my full-time career, I met Toronto based real estate agent. If you are someone, you know, is a busy professional looking to get into the Toronto real estate market, I highly recommend reaching out to me. You can go directly to my website@wwwdotjenelletremblant.com. And you can click the let's talk button to book a call with me. I work with buyers, renters, and sellers in the downtown and east end areas. So don't hesitate to reach out to me and I would love to help you find your next home. And in the meantime, we'll see you here back next week.